“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”
Harvey Mackay

In this week’s article I’d like to look back into the past.

Back to the time when I was single.

It was a period when I faced rejection a lot of the time.

Which was actually a step forward for me. Because before that I spent much of my time totally avoiding situations where I could be rejected.

But still, it hurt. So I needed to learn how to handle and get over rejection.

And today I’d like to share 9 habits and reminders that helped me with that and still helps me to this day when I get rejected in other situations.https://tpc.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-37/html/container.html

1. Take some time to process it instead of forcing a smile on your face.

Trying to force optimism or to move forward when you are still in an emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually don’t work that well.

So first just take a bit of time to process the thoughts and feelings that arise when you’ve been rejected.

At first it will likely hurt. Maybe a bit. Maybe a lot.

That’s OK. Just be with those feelings and thoughts instead of trying to push them away.

Because if you do, if you let them in and accept that they are there then it will go faster and in the long run be less painful to process what’s happened. At least in my experience.

If you on the other hand try push it all away then those emotions tend to pop up at unexpected times and can make you moody, angry or pessimistic.

2. Focus on what you still have in your life.

Take some time for the thoughts that arose.

But don’t get stuck in dwelling and in dragging yourself down into an ocean of self-doubt and negativity.

Instead, shift your focus to what you actually still have in your life.

The people, the passions or hobbies, the sometimes taken for granted things like a roof over your head and that you don’t have to go hungry.

Tapping into gratitude like this helps me to put what happened into perspective and to not let it overwhelm me.

3. Say no to your inner critic.

When you’ve faced rejection then it’s easy to start pummeling yourself and to drag yourself further down by listening to your inner critic.

The inner critic is the voice that whispers or drones on in your mind about how you’re not attractive enough, not smart or witty enough or perhaps that you’re unsuccessful in life.

And that’s why you got rejected.

When you notice this voice starting to pipe up in your mind shut it down before it become a big snowball of negative thoughts that you’ll have a hard time stopping.

You can shut the inner critic down by, in your mind, shouting something like:

No, no, no, we’re not going down that road again!

When you’ve got the inner critic to shut up, once again focus on what you still have in your life or on other constructive steps from this post.

Read part 2